A few months ago I read a book by leadership consultant Margaret Wheatley — Turning to One Another – in which she suggests an experiment:
Be brave enough to start a conversation that matters.
- Talk to people you don’t know.
- Talk to people you never talk to.
Be intrigued by the differences you hear.
- Expect to be surprised.
- Treasure curiosity more than certainty.
Trust that meaningful conversations can change the world.
When traveling on planes and trains I’m usually head down, checking email, writing strategy documents, catching up on business reading. But for the past few months I’ve intentionally engaged in conversations with strangers, following Wheatley’s advice. And what a few months it has been, from learning, meaning and networking perspectives.
I had an amazing three hour conversation with a Hollywood producer on a train, where we talked about business models, managing talent, fantasy jobs outside our current fields, packing tips for traveling, creative and challenging things we do for our own professional development, fear of aging, sisters, and books and movies. I learned that executives in any business have the same issues — cash flow, talent, customer satisfaction — and that executives in any business are people with hopes and fears, aspirations and restlessness.
A kind, gentle woman from Louisiana talked to me about her faith, and how being born again with Jesus has made her life one of serenity and comfort. She gave me a Bible and pointed out passages that someone who has never read the Bible might like. I asked her why a compassionate Jesus would discriminate against gays, as her Church does. She hesitated and carefully considered the question. “Maybe we need to rethink things there.”
A rollicking Amtrak conversation with a biomedical engineer who designs heart replacements and an executive coach and documentary company executive was all about bad decisions and lessons learned — managing real estate property and tenant problems, marriage – knowing when it’s time to change career directions, and the surprising kindness of strangers.
The African American documentary director shared the story of how a member of the Seagram’s family changed her family’s history. Her father was a shoeshine boy at a country club in St. Louis. One of the Seagram’s got to know her father and said, “Henry, you seem like a smart young man. Why are you shining shoes?” Her father said he didn’t have the money to go to college. The Seagram’s founder gave her father the money to go to medical school, with one stipulation: he had to pay back every cent, which he did.
So this is a summer of surprise, and conversations that matter. Look up from your reading and be curious. These real life stories are better than anything in the 20 books waiting to be read on my Kindle.
