You are here: Home / Archives for conversations

The most important role of a speaker

November 29, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Organizations pay big money to bring in professional speakers. Some are funny, others are inspirational, many are informative.

As a speaker my aim is to provide all those things. But what matters most to me is moving people in such a way that they have meaningful conversations following the speech. Conversations that matter about their lives, their work, their businesses.

It is through conversations that we learn.

A college student came to one of my recent speeches as part of her work-study program at a Boston college’s communications department and wrote this critique.  The second to last line makes me understand that the event was a success.

As for the speaker/author Lois Kelly – she was phenomenal! My grandmother is dying of cancer and my mother’s relationship directly parallels Lois’ relationship with her mother.

Lois Kelly was funny and interesting, while also respecting that she was discussing a heavy topic. She was serious when she needed to be, but followed those moments up with something positive and uplifting. I was tearing up at multiple parts of her talk, mostly because I could relate to what she was saying.

I believe that her ability to relate to and engage the audience is what made her so great. She had a funny PowerPoint to go along with her talk and add a visual aid. I left feeling comfortable and uplifted. My mother left with a new perspective.

The event sparked a 2 hour long conversation between my mother and me about everything we had experienced. I would say it was a success!

 

 

Filed Under: Activating change, Communicating, Musings Tagged With: , ,

Unexpected finding: what leaders really want

October 3, 2011 By Leave a Comment

A Fortune 50 company recently completed a comprehensive two-year talent development program for high-potential leaders.

The company invested heavily — creating innovative games and technologies to help people understand the business, bringing in big ticket leadership speakers, and investing in expensive  development methodologies by some of the world’s best-known leadership gurus.

When asked what they found most valuable about the program, these high-potential leaders said they loved having unstructured time to talk with one another.  Despite the millions invested in the program, what they found most helpful is something that costs little.

Having time to talk with one another was the best part of the program. We had some great conversations during those unstructured 20-minute walks and over meals. We hardly ever get the chance to talk with peers from other divisions. And we hardly ever get the chance to talk without a formal agenda.  Getting to know one another — and know we can talk with one another about issues — was invaluable.

We’re under more pressure than ever before in business, with seemingly every minute booked in meetings and conference calls.

Yet carving out occasional, unhurried time to think out loud with colleagues we rarely spend time with — without an agenda or dreaded PowerPoint presentations –  may be one of the best uses of our most limited resources: time.

 

Filed Under: Communicating, Leadership, Organizational change, Problem solving Tagged With: , ,

Bringing Ben Franklin’s Junto to business

November 3, 2010 By 1 Comment

Where is Ben Franklin when we really need him?

After a long election season with candidates bashing one another in unhelpful ads, and after a few too many meetings where organizational politics seem to block progress, I’m thinking maybe it’s time to model our civic and business conversations around Ben Franklin’s Friday night Junto club. The Junto was a  small group of local businessmen who got together to discuss current business, scientific and political topics.

The “rules” of the club are as relevant today as they were in the 1730′s.

To join the club, you had to stand up and pledge to these four questions:

  1. Have you any particular disrespect to any present members? Answer: I have not.
  2. Do you sincerely declare that you love mankind in general, of what profession or religion soever? Answer. I do.
  3. Do you think any person ought to be harmed in his body, name, or goods, for mere speculative opinions, or his external way of worship? Answer. No.
  4. Do you love truth for truth’s sake, and will you endeavor impartially to find and receive it yourself, and communicate it to others? Answer. Yes.

Imagine if political candidates had to pledge to these? And how about if we pledged this before the start of some business meetings — especially those where we have to make difficult choices? Talk about setting a new context.

Franklin also came up with some fascinating questions to guide the Friday night discussions. Here are some of my favorites. Additional ones can be found here.

  • Do you know of any fellow citizen, who has lately done a worthy action, deserving praise and imitation? or who has committed an error proper for us to be warned against and avoid?
  • Do you know of any deserving young beginner lately set up, whom it lies in the power of the Junto any way to encourage?
  • What new story have you lately heard agreeable for telling in conversation?
  • Have you met with any thing in the author you last read, remarkable, or suitable to be communicated to the Junto? particularly in history, morality, poetry, physics, travels, mechanic arts, or other parts of knowledge?
  • Do you think of any thing at present, in which the Junto may be serviceable to mankind? to their country, to their friends, or to themselves?

We talk a lot lately about conversations and authenticity. Maybe we need more good questions like these to guide us, along with a pledge to be open and respectful to other people — and other ideas. Why? Because we “love mankind.”

Filed Under: Activating change, Communicating, Communities, Leadership, Political communications Tagged With: , , ,

The experiment is working

July 21, 2010 By 1 Comment

A few months ago I read a book by leadership consultant Margaret Wheatley — Turning to One Another –  in which she suggests an experiment:

Be brave enough to start a conversation that matters.

  • Talk to people you don’t know.
  • Talk to people you never talk to.

Be intrigued by the differences you hear.

  • Expect to be surprised.
  • Treasure curiosity more than certainty.

Trust that meaningful conversations can change the world.

When traveling on planes and trains I’m usually head down, checking email, writing strategy documents, catching up on business reading. But for the past few months I’ve intentionally engaged in conversations with strangers, following Wheatley’s advice. And what a few months it has been, from  learning, meaning and networking perspectives.

I had an amazing three hour conversation with a Hollywood producer on a train, where we talked about business models, managing talent, fantasy jobs outside our current fields, packing tips for traveling, creative and challenging things we do for our own professional development, fear of aging, sisters, and books and movies.  I learned that executives in any business have the same issues — cash flow, talent, customer satisfaction — and that executives in any business are people with hopes and fears, aspirations and restlessness.

A kind, gentle woman from Louisiana talked to me about her faith, and how being born again with Jesus has made her life one of serenity and comfort.  She gave me a Bible and pointed out passages that someone who has never read the Bible might like.  I asked her why a compassionate Jesus would discriminate against gays, as her Church does. She hesitated and carefully considered the question. “Maybe we need to rethink things there.”

A rollicking Amtrak conversation with a biomedical engineer who designs heart replacements and an executive coach and documentary company executive was all about bad decisions and lessons learned — managing real estate property and tenant problems,  marriage –  knowing when it’s time to change career directions, and the surprising kindness of strangers.

The African American documentary director shared the story of how a member of the Seagram’s family changed her family’s history. Her father was a shoeshine boy at a country club in St. Louis. One of the Seagram’s got to know her father and said, “Henry, you seem like a smart young man. Why are you shining shoes?”  Her father said he didn’t have the money to go to college. The Seagram’s founder gave her father the money to go to medical school, with one stipulation: he had to pay back every cent, which he did.

So this is a summer of surprise, and conversations that matter.  Look up from your reading and be curious. These  real life stories are better than anything in the 20 books waiting to be read on my Kindle.

Filed Under: Communicating, Musings Tagged With: , , , , ,