Writer, educator and activist Parker Palmer has for years been helping leaders, teachers, and medical professionals connect with their inner values and learn how to rely on that soulful wisdom to guide their professional lives.  Listening to our inner teacher, he writes in “A Hidden Wholeness,” prevents burn out and helps us stay passionate and engaged in work and relationships that are meaningful.

“When we live behind a wall, people close to us become wary of the gap between our onstage performance and backstage reality. Distrusting our duplicity and seeking to protect themselves, they hold us at arm’s length.”

It was interesting to read the interview with Niki Leondakis, COO of the Kimpton Hotel & Restaurant Group, in the Sunday New York Times “Corner Office” column about her leadership approach, which is grounded in standing for our values as leaders.  It is very much in synch with Palmer’s insights.

So what advice would you give to new managers?

“I would talk to a young manager about who they are, what they believe in, and find the foundation or platform, if you will, to communicate consistently to the people you work with so they know what you stand for and what you believe in.

“When they experience that from you, they understand the place that it’s coming from. Otherwise, they fill in their own blanks.”

At a business dinner party two years ago I met Ed Godin, senior VP of HR at Brightcove. Ed opened up the dinner by asking everyone what their “power alleys” were — what we felt were our real gifts and talents.  The question wasn’t about titles or companies or any of those superficial things we so often use to introduce ourselves. It was a great conversation starter because it helped us to quickly begin to know each other for one another.

Understanding our real talents and inner beliefs helpfully guides our individual behavior as leaders. But as Niki Leondakis explains, articulating those beliefs also helps us with people we work with and for.  When you know what’s really motivating a person, you don’t fill in your own blanks, or get frustrated by actions that seem to be grounded in nothing but company politics.

Sort of like that old adage, “the truth can set you free.” When we know what we all value, we can get  on with collaborating and working in a way that is true to who we are. And maybe even have some fun doing so.